One of my favorite parts of being a therapist is reviewing clients’ therapeutic writing and creative works. I recently asked my clients in a small group of women with eating disorders to write letters to their bodies from their “soul selves”. “Soul self” is a term coined by Carolyn Costin to describe who we truly are outside of our eating disorders and at our core healthy selves. The following writing from one the clients struck a chord with me and she was kind enough to share it with me to post here:

“Dear body—

Aren’t you tired? Tired of carrying the weight… of trying to be smaller, stronger, toner— enough? Don’t you see that all the change you desire will never be enough?

If it’s not your belly, then it’s your arms, if it’s not your cellulite, then it’s your stretch marks. You’re clothed in insecurities — wasting away — focused on goals and calories. It’s still not enough. It’s never enough. You look in the mirror and you want to disappear — the problem is, you just don’t see clear.

You focus on your arms and not the way you pick others up and pull them in.

You don’t like your hips even though they help make you a woman.

You try to flatten your stomach even though it deserves fuel.

You can run miles, lift hundreds, and climb mountains but you still find fault in you. You can wear the crop top and be a size 2, and you still will say… “I just wish.”

All of the sacrifice will never suffice. You choose to skip moments and memories and instead think about “if only.”

I wish you saw beauty in your brokenness, recognized strength in your independence. Took pride in your accomplishments. Celebrated your intelligence. Found joy in your skin.

You are loyal, you are kind, you are full of wit. But your broken mirror often makes you just want to quit.

I wish you could wear confidence like a blanket, lift your head high, and piece the mirror together so you would finally see…

You are enough.”