I started working at Monte Nido in 2016. The philosophy was so easy for me to incorporate into my beliefs of recovery, life and what is truly important in life. The staff at Monte Nido believe that clients must strengthen their “healthy self” in order to heal their eating disorder selves. We often talk about our healthy selves in treatment and how we can empower client’s healthy selves but as a clinician who has been doing our “Body and Soul” groups for the last few years, I recently started making the distinction between healthy self and soul self and feel like discerning between the two is important.

In treatment we use a level system in our programs to help motivate clients to move through treatment and assign various assignments and privileges as clients move through treatment. I think recovery also has certain stages or levels that are benchmarks for lessons and growth and I believe soul self and healthy self fit into this idea.

Healthy self is one of the first concepts we teach people. Helping clients understand that they have two selves, their eating disorder and their healthy self, that part of them that wants recovery, or wants a life outside of their eating disorder, or knows that they are hurting themselves, but doesn’t want to recover. In the beginning stages of recovery, the healthy self is like a whisper and as recovery progresses that sense becomes stronger and stronger. The more you can live in your healthy self and have time away from the ED self the more and more you can live authentically to yourself and be truly present in your life. This is where soul self comes in to play.

Soul self is when your healthy self is in control and you are living to the best of your ability, putting yourself first, taking care of yourself, and doing things that nourish who you are at your core. The more you are living up to your authentic truth, the more your soul self can thrive. For me, my soul self comes alive when I hear clients thank me for the work we’ve done together, when my pets rest their head on my legs, when I feel completely present in the moment and all my sense are being stimulated. This can look differently for everyone, but soul self, isn’t possible when you are afraid you are going to purge all the time or you’re nervous about the family meal you have later.

The goal is to live inline with our soul selves, to allow ourselves to be authentic and vulnerable and honest with our experience in the world at each precise moment. Being intoned with ones soul self, is the ultimate way to honor our past, present and future and to show up for not only ourselves but for others.